Saturdays we work a half day . . .

And then we go to the park.


Well, lately not so much, because the weather doesn't always cooperate. As noon rolled around today there was more blue than grey so it seemed optimum to get the girls out of the house. Superman says we need more pictures taken. Here you go.


We got them ready and loaded in the truck. When we were in the truck, I thought I would try to catch how excited they were. I post this picture to show you how hard it is to take a picture backwards over your head.

Hey, I'm cute and in my sweater, where we going anyway? Are we there yet?

Ah, Mom! Get that camera outta my face PLEASE! Dad, can't you go any faster?

I know this isn't a great shot, but when I was taking this, I was thinking, this is about as calm as Dori gets. Yet. A bit of slack in the leash, ears a little elevated, tail mid-rise with a curl, mouth slightly open as if to taste the honey gold in the sunshine.

This is Maggie in 'Go-Dog-Go' speed, ears up, nose a-sniffin', tail cocked as if to rudder her direction.

Maggie walks in front with Dori, compatibly, but only when Dad is with us. Here she checks to make sure he's still there.

Nice shot of the park today. See what I mean about sunshine? It's January! So very cool, huh? Hey, Dad! Wait up!

Mom and the girls.

At that point the camera batteries died. The Energizer Bunny doesn't keep up too well when it comes to cute terriers in their Momma's hand made sweaters.

OK, I'm embarrassed to post this because of the messy house. As I said, we charged out as soon as we could close the office. All the mess of knitting projects going! I just wanted you to see Superman with the girls, looking pretty comfy and calm, just home and had treats for being good girls in the park and truck and back. Really, you must notice how comfy Dori is with Daddy sitting so close and Maggie, in her usual hyper-mode when she's that close to her Daddy.

And as I post this, Daddy's stretched out in the living room, sound asleep with the US Open Snow events blaring on the TV. Yeah, it's a good day.

January 21st, What's on the needles?

I haven't had much going on lately but I have been feeling pretty wiped out. Today the boss came and I had been worried about her visit, which may have been affecting my sleep. She usually comes in January to tell us a.) if and what our raise for the year may be b.) any change to the base income (this is the figure which I, as a facility manager, try to reach each month and if I do, I will receive a bonus, last year, I didn't receive a bonus based on this base income) c.) if we will be raising our rates this year. So, I was all anxiety, and once she answered all of these, I was ready for a nap.





I have been worried for my daughter, who is stressing out over her car. She's made some repairs to it, but yesterday it failed to pass DEQ, so she's unable to get her tags. Pretty upset, as anybody would be, hard for a mommy to watch. Hopefully, this is an experience she will learn from.





I have also been worried about a distant relation. Her son died, very young, like 10-12 years old, I think it was two years ago. He died with a belt around his neck apparently playing 'The Choking Game.' I had been thinking about her and all parents that lose children too young and the agony they must all be going through (this is something my very own Superman lives with everyday, too, his son died 12 years ago in an auto accident) when I was watching my favorite Wednesday shows last night. Last night's episode on CBS 'Criminal Minds' was about the choking game. I cried for all that I know that's lost a child. Glad it was just me and the dog watching.





And I have been thinking about people in Haiti and orphans. How could anybody that watches the news not have tears to see what they are enduring there, and yet, everyday, aftershocks continue to terrify?





So, I've been trying to stay occupied and, thus, a contributing member of society, by knitting.





I am trying to finish a sweater for my step-daughter, my deadline is next month. It is of blue cotton, a ribbed lace pattern I hope will flatter and be comfortable. I work on it in the evening, for as long as three hours a sitting, while I watch TV. At my desk in the office, I have a pair of socks in progress, for my nephew in the Army. My deadline for that is also next month as he will be home for a visit before being deployed. I want him to have a helmet liner I've already finished, these socks, and some trigger gloves. If I had extra funds, I would like to put a harmonica or a book in there. But probably will only get to finish these socks. I have a couple other projects in progress that I should probably make deadlines for but I'm feeling stressed about what I have going already. One is a long, car coat length sweater with a hoodie, that is all one piece and has a celtic sort of braid that lines the opening up the front and the hood. I have some lace curtains that are about 8 inches short on one panel of being completed, then I will put them up in the office so that I can look at them all day long and even on ugly days have something delicate and beautiful to stare at. I also plan to put together a Barbie wardrobe for my husband's granddaughter, that should be sent off in April.





But on top of all this, I am working on a few knitted T-shirts for orphans in Haiti. One is nearly done, except for a bit around neck edge and hem. Superman went to the craftstore yesterday, almost immediately after I told him that the cotton that I would like to use is on sale. It appears he's bought me enough for two or three more shirts, with what I have already (not much, just a ball of white).

This is the first one, I had started it Saturday and worked on it when I went to meet the Yarn Train (see last post) and this was how far I got before I went to bed Sunday.

That's all for now, thank you for reading this. I hope somewhere there's a ray of sun just for you that brightens your January.

spell check is not working, I'm hoping my english was adequate. . . .

Yarn Train

This morning, I got to leave the house, instead of run the office, and go do something fun. In a knitterly kind of way. I took my project bag, if you remember, this is one I received from the purple swap a couple of months ago.
This is the project in the bag. The other night, I watched Ann Curry in Haiti discuss a newborn infant, who was already an orphan. I got out my new copy of 'Knitting for Peace' that I had bought for the dog blankets and all, and thought a cotton sweater for an orphan in Haiti might be a good thing, FOR ME, to make. The pattern starts with panels knit center front and back, then the sides and sleeves picked up along the side of these panels.

Armed with walking project, I'm off.

This is the landmark tower at the Train Station. As beautiful as the architecture is outside, inside is breathtaking. But I was not here for the field trip of our city's buildings. That clock says our train is about to arrive, better get in there.

The group was so big, I couldn't have gotten them all in one shot. Here, the primary organizer is going over the game plan.

We listened.

And listened to other details.

On your mark, get set, go!

There was a woman from the group on the train, for whom this was a first time in this adventure, and since I've never been to any of the three shops in the nearby neighborhood, we set out to find it together.

The first shop was Dublin Bay. Their shop is down the next block, just there. This neighborhood is pretty much all new. I hadn't been thru here in a few years, so it was all new to me.
Here is my find, from Dublin Bay. That's right my friends. I bought a spool! I love them spools, can't resist 'em. This is a really pretty heather. The yardage is 1,750. Got me some knittin' to do.

At this intersection, we stopped as my companion needed to eat. She had to be at the train station at home about 6 hours earlier, it was time. We stopped in a little cafe, called (something like Delisia, I will look up and fix this later). I had eaten a big breakfast, so at this point I wasn't really needing anything. However, now that she had eaten, I wasn't about to let my own hunger slow us, so I had a half plain bagel with cream cheese. Her dish was 'Black Pearl Benedict' which had roasted potatoes, spinach, almond slivers, slices of pastry, with a sauce that looked like mole all over it.

We headed down 11th Avenue. There were several little park pass thru areas. Nice day in January, yes?

Next stop was Knit Knot Studio. Very tiny shop, but apparently the owner is something special as far as knitters go. There were so many ladies in there, I was almost glad to leave.


Continuing down 11th, we walked past Powell's Books (we were coming back later for this) to head to the next shop. There was a fabric store just before that, were I found some great leafy buttons to go with my new wool. I think I discovered that abalone doesn't photograph with a digital camera too clearly.

That was right next to the next shop, Knit/Purl. They have a very good selection of colors in the Cascade 220 Superwash there, I think I counted 45 plus another 6 or 8 in the clearance bins. The reason I noticed this is because my local area knitters are knitting the Great American Afghan, and this is the yarn they are using.

And Back to Powell's books.

Now, I was just there with my brother a couple of weeks ago, so I wasn't really looking for anything. I just looked for different authors that I didn't remember seeing on the earlier visit. This was the only Annie Modesitt on the shelf. I guess she's popular with many readers here.

And I opened it up to find . . . .

I found an AUTOGRAPHED COPY! I think I'll pretend that whoever this Stephanie is, she named me this book's God-mother and that is why I have it now. They also gave the Yarn Train gang a free recycled shopping bag. I'm very glad to have that, as I had another bag years ago and Nicole borrowed it.

Well, my adventure buddy hails from the book trade, so she found what she wanted pretty quick. We realized we had more than two hours left, what to do?

We'll first I wanted to stop to pick up a Red Velvet Cupcake for Superman. I had heard that many shops in the neighborhood were doing various things to raise money for Haiti, this particular place is donating 100% of the proceeds from the sale of this cupcake. I got a taste of it and it was very good.

We walked back to the train station and drove my car over to Twisted. Yep, we got FOUR shops done, none that I had been in before.
(You may have noticed I wasn't taking pictures of the shops we visited anymore. Well, it started raining and I didn't want to get the camera wet.)

At Twisted, we ran into another local knitter, this one I was familiar with because she is on Ravelry. I've seen several of her posts, because she is a travel agent that likes to put together other fun knitterly adventures. Today, she told us all about a cruise/train/knitting trip she's putting together for next fall. Oh, I so wish. We also talked about the local Knitting Guild. I was interested to learn more, she seems to appreciate it.

Back at the train station, the ladies are arriving back with full bags of bargains, tired but with smiling faces. Looks like we all had a good time.

Uh, where am I? I forget.

This whole day was spent in a daze. I just seemed to bounce from one thing to another like I have ADHD. I got very little done.

The invoices in the office are done, good thing.

I had to auction off a unit, bad thing.

But it went for over $200, I have to begrudgingly declare that a good thing.

The people that won it are snooty, bargain hunters who drive luxury cars, I have to declare that a bad thing.

The front office linoleum got ripped up, Superman's good thing.

He's really gonna hurt tomorrow, bad thing.

I am day 9 in a row for walking rescue dog, good thing.

I need to sit and knit for awhile, because I haven't done any yet today, bad thing.

I made camping reservations for Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends, good thing.

It only took me all day, bad thing.

I found some Parmesan Cheese in the bottom shelf of the refrigerator, good thing.

We really needed it last night for pizza, bad thing.

I helped a friend with her knitting by blowing up a chart that was small and hard to read, good thing.

The invoices didn't get in the mail, bad thing.

I ran away with a friend to check out a couple of small knitting things, good thing.

I left without an agenda of what I need, then without it had nothing to do when I got there, bad thing.

I got to meet someone I see on Ravelry, good thing.

I wasn't wearing any of my projects, bad thing.

Tonight is a new episode of NCIS, with Robert Wagner as DiNozzo's dad, good thing.

No word yet if premier of 'Lost' will be preempted on February Second, bad thing.

Every thing I did was not something on my to do list, bad thing.

But I had fun doing it. GOOD THING!

Sad regrets, lesson learned

Once upon a time.

I was a pretty lonely person at about the time I graduated from high school. My brother had some new friends, so once I followed him and invited myself along on their adventures. I was that lonely.

Well, eventually, one moved away, and one went somewhere else, and then it was just me and one person. It was a guy. Traditionally, I get along better with guys so I didn't think much of it. We went and did stuff, talked on the phone, just the same as when it had been all of us. My mom started calling him my boyfriend. It didn't feel like that to me, but I left it alone. One day he said he was breaking up with me. OK. I didn't know we were 'together' in order to 'break up.' But, whatever, OK.

So, now I'm off to find new friends again.

After a few months and some other odd adventures, I received a note from him. He said he thought it would be a good thing for me to be his wife. So, we got married. I thought I had my friend back. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I waited. We made decisions I thought would make us closer. I was hoping my friend would come back. We moved. We got jobs working together. Sometimes, just because, we even got matching outfits, like old married people, or people who come to look like their pets. Initially, people thought it was sweet that we were that close. After a while, they could tell proximity didn't mean 'together'. A few wondered about that, but even fewer were concerned enough to say anything about it.

I thought it was my fault, that I wasn't enough something. I tried to be a wife, or at the very least, a friend. It's tough when you are working at it by yourself, or working for one thing when the rest of the team is working on something else. There was a statistic I heard the other day, that said, Men love women the way they are, and get upset when they change. Women expect their men to change and get upset when they don't. That's very true here: I tried to change to make myself something he would love. He never did.

I thought when we had our daughter that we both would become different people. That may sound like what some people say 'I thought I could change him' but what I thought was I would be whatever it was that was lovable, because clearly at this point I was not.

I tried for a long time. After a while, I realized I was the only one fighting, so I quit. With nothing else to motivate me in life and no reason to live, I gave up and walked away. I thought he would come for me. After three years, he came to bring me papers to dissolve every connection we had.

Except one. She hated me. I'm not sure now why, I thought at the time it was because I had made a change in her life that didn't look pretty, I'd made a scene. That may still be the reason. I think she blames me for the 'ripping apart her family' part as far as the cause, but now I think she smart enough that she knows that a lot of the ripping wasn't me.

What I regret now is still the loss of so much time, my history, the connections of twenty-five years. In my opinion, I was naive, and for that I was wrong. He has some blame too. I don't care about that. What I care about is the cruelness it places on her. As an only child, she's the only one to bear whatever comes with 'in-law' territory. It doesn't have to be a negative connotation, but in the expected way of things, people seem to think they have to hate. I never felt that, but apparently I'm alone. I have always asked that she be respectful of whatever family she has contact with, she doesn't have to stop loving anybody. They, however, make it hard on her by looking to place all the blame and shame on me, and tried to turn her heart. I'm not sure that they will ever be totally successful with that plan, but there are days when I don't hear from her that I think they might. She is all I have to show for that whole adventure. That must be a burden on her too.

I think that whole experience has made me very aware of what it feels like to be loved now. I hardly have to do a thing and he is grateful for what I have done. He attempts to take care of me. I'm not only loved but cherished. And so much more.

Sweet Sundays

I must have woke up kinda weepy today, because I was in tears before I got out of the shower. I was thinking about my Grandma. Sometimes in that moment between awake and asleep, I can hear her singing. I had one of those this morning and I was thinking about what she is singing. Most often I hear the songs we sang when gathered with the congregation. Those songs have recently been changed, it saddened me all of a sudden that her favorites may have been dropped. I guess I will always have them, even if they are not being sung anymore.

We took the dogs to their park this morning. We haven't been there in a couple of weeks, because it's been too rainy. Dori was doing really good, walking sedately BESIDE me, slack in the leash, just taking it slow and easy, little curl in the tail and ears half elevated. Sometimes in her new sweater I sense that she feels like she finally belongs. I thought, 'Well, maybe she's happy' which got me teary again. We came around a corner and I look up to see the pine trees clothed in a bit of fog, the sun fighting to get through and a few rays actually cutting through. Another tear or two.

Superman was so tickled to tell me he'd been online shopping for my favorite cars and showing me what he could find. How sweet is that? You would think the silly man loves me. Or something.

I got an e-mail from my co-worker, her mother died. How sad, to lose your mother.

We came home, I took my vacuum upstairs and got all the floors and furnace filters, with the filters on the air purifier. He got the downstairs. Then we dashed out to the new theatre in town and saw 'Avatar'. So very glad Superman didn't make fun of me for crying so soon in the story. I was wiping my eyes the first moment the main character could stand, run and walk, when he lives as a cripple. I was fighting it earlier when he was 'saying good-bye' to his brother. Before the movie was over, I'd pretty much soaked the paper towel I had in my pocket.

We came home and I took a nap. When I got up, he was making us dinner. His family's recipe for chicken fried steak with artichokes. Now, I look over, as I sit in this chair at the computer, he's dozing in his chair, but it's not tilted back, so his head is flopped to the side. To me, he looks so sweet, but I should go move him a little, or he will wake up in pain. My sweet, Superman.

Oh, I'm crying again.

The view from my desk

HAPPY FRIDAY! Be safe, be busy, be cool. Love, ~t