Note to Mr. Man:
Last night, you put your arm around my shoulder and asked me what to do about your love life.
It felt like more than a desire to have someone for the night, so that had a profound effect on me, like you are looking for the permanent one. I think, too, you may have thought I've heard everything being said about you and know all your business. I have taken a vow against gossip and maliciousness, so, unless you told me something or I've seen something, I don't know anything about what you're going through.
I wish it was a simple answer, how to find THE ONE. I've laid awake all night wondering what I could have said that would have been beneficial. At the moment, I can't remember what I did say. It seemed funny to me that you would ask ME of all people, and I'm pretty sure my answer is not the same as you would have with your friends in the locker room. But, at the same time, it's not the 'chick flick' answer either. At least I don't think so. I don't believe in fairy tales, so this isn't going to be the fake, romance answer.
In your chosen profession, there is a lot that is fake. Personally, I'm not a fan of fake. From the little I know about you, you're not either. If you were, you would be drinking all the time, until fake looks good. You don't seem to want your senses dulled, though, you seem to want to know things for what they are.
That will probably do you the most good, honestly. Recognizing things for what they really are will be the tool that protects you most. You have to realize the sweet thing with the bedroom eyes may not be the companion for life. Of course, if she's attempting to attract you with the fake nails, hair, boob-job, whatever, she may not love herself as she really is for you to begin to appreciate who she really is either. Whoever she is, you'll know her because you have all the right tools to recognize her.
The first tool that you have that I know of is your music. The right companion is the one that hopes for you to do the thing you love even more than you do. When you play and you are enjoying yourself, you get this really relaxed look on your face that says you are in the zone. It has a smile, too, when you make contact with someone else who is in the zone too. The person that supports you wants more of that for you and will be helping you to get it, even so far as to try to help you carry your equipment, regardless of the length of her nails are the height of her heels.
Additionally, you'll know her because she has treasured every kind thing you've ever said to her. You won't be able to find her based on her looks at all: She could be tall, short, toothpick thin or carry a little extra jiggle. She will be listening to you, without waiting for an opening to put in her next statement. She wants to know all of your truth. In fact, when you've told her the truth from the depth of your soul, she will have tears of joy in her eyes.
The second tool you have has always been with you. She's your mom. I'm not saying ask her opinion, that will come later. Your whole life you have spent putting a smile on her face. The one you want to see is the one that tilts back and basks in the joy of being in your presence. All that practice on your mom will come in very handy now.
My hope is that this didn't sound like it was from your mom, although I think I would have told this to a son. I hope it sounds like it came from a friend. I wish you well on your search my friend. My regret is that I won't be here to see it.