I loathe shopping. Can you tell from that last post where I kept referring to the Mall as my own personal Hell?
Lots of reasons.
The smell, for one. New clothes tend to reek of an 'New' odor that is not 'New Car Smell', which I have heard is formaldehyde. I hope not, but I have heard that and so, I imagine that is what it is when I smell it.
There is also a lot of really poorly made product in the stores, that businesses justify sells because the low quality makes it affordable. I see it and I can easily visualize what's filling the landfills.
The worst kind of shopping for me is the clothes shopping for myself. There is some truly ugly stuff out there. 'Stuff' is a compliment, by the way. In my head it was far worse, but you never know if anybody is actually reading this who may be my mother, and I don't want to disappoint.
I don't understand why there are manufacturers creating horizontal stripes. Were they dropped on their heads as babies? Not enough caffeine in the decision making that day? Is that where the evil mad scientists go that are bent in destroy the world or at least making it look really awful? HORIZONTAL STRIPES MAKE PEOPLE LOOK FATTER AND SHORTER. Who doesn't know this? I have walked into stores that I have loved, seen that first display of horizontal stripes, turned around and walked out, and never gone back again. I am on an absolute boycott of horizontal stripes and all the evil commercial institutions that would inflict this horror on the unsuspecting public.
The next evil fashion for women is anything babydoll including some empire waisted garments. No one wants to look pregnant unless they are and most of them don't either. The acceptable empire waist style is the one that doesn't have the belly of the garment gathered to the bodice. There are some that don't do this, they are rare. The best kind is the one that has a dark color at the bottom than the top. I have one that I like that does that, black and a red black print at the top. Only one, 'cause they are that rare.
Sleeve length is often inconsiderate as well. Cap sleeves are greatly desired by those that just walked out of their personal trainer's gym. The 3/4 sleeves are a tough sell, too. The manufacturer probably thought 'it would be a good thing, part long sleeve, part short, it will appeal to everybody'. Not me. I want long sleeves in the cold weather and short or none in the warm. And I do switch them out. Most of the problem I have with sleeves is where the shoulder seam is because for women it seems that it is too far off the shoulder to allow for movement. T-shirts are the worst for this, because they are designed for huMANity, as if the soft comforting feminine curve doesn't exist.
Jeans. OK. This is personal. I have a inner hatred for jeans, but have to wear them on a nearly daily basis. So, I suffer the indignity of the ill-fitting. First, for my size, I am expected to have hips and butt. Every pair of Jeans made for women goes completely stupid in those areas on me. I could probably go with jeans a size or two smaller than I wear and they would fit there, but wouldn't go around the belly, thank you diabetes. It has been suggested that I try men's jeans but this doesn't work as they are made to clothe 'the family jewels' which I don't carry, and thus become the first place to wear and rip because of the stress manly jeans can't handle. (Hmmm. Now that's a thought provoking thing.) Besides the men's jeans are usually bought too small to go around a man's belly, creating a Dunlop Tire which should only make appearances on motor vehicles. The best solution I've found is to purchase stretch jeans, which is tough to do without getting into the whole skin-tight spandex thing, which I have always found to be nauseating. For me, if I'm careful, a jean with a little stretch can help negotiate the size variety between the tummy and the butt. Still those are hard to find also.
In addition to all this, I am a larger chested girl. I have been reduced to bra shopping on the Internet, which is doable, but not fun as there is still a high probability that when I get them, I will hate the fabric or where something lays and it should go back. It also makes finding a flattering top a torture only the Mall/Hell Lord could have dreamed up. Necklines. A turtle neck being the absolute worst and crew necks are nearly as bad as they both emphasize the acreage making it look like there is much more to the eye. A v-neck, scoop neck, square neck are all better choices but I would venture to say there are less than 10% of these are actually effective without overdoing and advertising what you don't wish to advertise. Which is tougher still as there are many who feel anything where cleavage is visible is too low cut, but unfortunately real cleavage comes with the territory. There are a couple of necklines that are flattering on most figure types, but unfortunately that also means the production cost is higher, so they don't get made but only rarely. The more prominent would be a sweetheart neckline. Very hard to find, even online. I'm not saying impossible, just difficult, and more expensive if found.
So, why am I complaining about all of these different aspects clothing? My husband has told me that with a portion of a large check we are receiving, I'm to get some new clothes. He's pretty much demanded it. He has specified I need new jeans and that's about all he says I should get. I have spent about a week and a half online at every different website trying to find stuff I can afford and that I will wear when it shows up. Literally more hours than a pervert on porn. I have nearly ceased to communicate with my family and friends because I haven't been my usually diligent self on all my social networks and e-mail, spending whole days sitting in this chair. My knitting is collecting dust bunnies, I can't remember the last time I played Tetris or my Nintendo DS 'Dog Whisperer', my dogs are getting fat and grumpy and my husband doesn't think I've noticed how nicely his beard is growing in. Oh, the agony. I never would have thought I would complain about having a thoughtful and considerate husband and yet, that is what I've been doing here for the last two hours. Believe it or not, I've begged to be let off this torture device and tried all kinds of cunning plans to otherwise spend the money but he is adamant.
I'm getting off of here now. Oh, wait, what was that website they just mentioned on TV? I gotta go see what they might have. . . . Tell my momma I love her!