Monday, January 4, 2010

I don't know how it happened

So, on January 1st, I went to change the calendar and I realize 'We never bothered to look for a calendar in the kitchen.' Eh? No problem, we'll check the grocery store over the weekend.

It can't just be any old calendar either. This has to MATCH the kitchen. Which is where the 'Coca-Cola' collection is prominently displayed.

Sunday morning, not so bright and not early enough, we get to the grocery store and they are out. Seriously, it was only the third. of. January. Are we going to have to settle for leftover calendars of puppies or Corvettes? No, we are just going to have to try a little harder.

We take the groceries home and put them away, then head to the Mall. Those of you who know me and my history, Take a deep breath, in through the nose out through the mouth. For those of you who don't know me, the Mall is my equivalent of Hell On Earth. At this moment, though, I'm trying to think positively, we'll hit the temporary calendar kiosk and we'll be out of there. Nope all sold out of Coke calendars, all she had were puppies. Of every breed except Rat Terrier and Rescue. I don't think I could have made a choice. But she tells us there's another kiosk at the other end of the Mall. So, we truck down there. Nope we didn't stop. Like I said before, I don't shop the Mall, so I'm not interested in the stores that cater to the Paris Hiltons of the world, or Bill Gates' little brother the gaming techno nerd. (However, when I'm there with my daughter, this place seems more like John Lennon's image of 'plasticene porters with looking glass ties . . . the flowers that grow so incredibly high . . . every one smiles as you drift past'. Oh, wow, that may have been an epiphany for me: The Mall = a bad LSD trip!)

At the other end of the Mall/Hell, the boy there says he hasn't had any Coke calendars in weeks. Since he was near the book store, we checked there. They were having a great sale, but no Coke Calendars. Some Marilyn Monroes and Elvis'. A pretty healthy supply of Hannah Montana's too. On the way back down we try some other stores that might have calendars, none of which had ANY, although we did score a 'Superman' magnet for the fridge. By now, my Superman starting to feel real pain. We sat for a bit, then went into a large department store to get some idea why people were walking out with bags big enough to fill the SUV. We didn't figure it out, we didn't see anything in there at all, well, we saw stuff, but we, being managers of a storage facility where people keep stuff most of it unneeded and unnecessary, were not impressed that there was stuff to be had and headed to the car. Where should we try next if the MALL/HELL doesn't have any. I thought maybe a drug store. There's one near the fabric store I wanted to stop by and check their yarn sale stock. Not in the drug store, not in the greeting card store, which sent me to the grocery store next door. . . . Not with green eggs and ham, Sam I am.

Thoroughly humbled that we should not have flaked on this and gotten around to getting one a long time I go, we head home. As we near the house, I remember there's a drug store half a block away from home, so, we go over there. I thought it wouldn't be a complete loss if they still had some holiday candy left to clearance out. Eh, might as well check then. So, we pulled in and went inside the store, I find the dark chocholates that our counter people seem to like, and we find the calendar supply. There are so many calendars here, the display says there were Coke calendars originally, is it possible they have ONE?!? We dig, we pick, we reject, puppies and kittens and firemen and Porche, horses and castles of Europe and THERE IT IS!

We couldn't believe it, I was having a hard time breathing, thinking about a half block from home, we could have been spared Mall/Hell and the pain my Superman was in. The only thing that made us feel any better about all we went through was that it was on sale for half off. I told him, that after all we'd been through, I would have to blog about this . . .

We came home, went straight to the kitchen, unwrapped the celophane and tacked it up where last years was. We stood there looking at it for a while, flipping through all the images we will be looking at over the next year. Oh, the glory of it all.

When we got to December, I put a sticky note there to remind us we'll need a calendar. Check the drug store next door.

Have a Coke and a Smile. I am.

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